I went to the store yesterday to pick up some chicken so I could make some BBQ chicken (No, we dont always fry it). As I was pulling into the parking lot I noticed 6 young black males on the sidewalk, all wearing jeans that were probably 2 sizes too small for their girlfriends to be wearing, more less them. Thats when it hit me that HIV/AIDS isnt the only epidemic hitting the DC/Maryland/Virginia area. Now I know some people will say that this is just an example of me getting older and not understanding the trends of the younger generation. I can admit that in some cases that is true. Sometimes while Im sitting on the metro train or elsewhere in public and Im watching the teenagers, I feel like that grumpy old man in house shoes and a tattered robe yelling at the kids to get off his lawn. However, in the case of skinny jeans, this problem transcends the younger generations. There are grown men walking around in skinny jeans. This has to stop. And the only way for this to stop is for the group of people who made this trend cool to step up to the plate and stop it. Yes, womenyou created this mess and now its your responsibility to end it.

I know there are a lot of women looking at their screens in confusion as they read that I am saying they are to blame for the outbreak of Skinny Jeans Disease (SJD) affecting men. Let me explain. See, 75% 90% of what we men do is all for women. The other 10 25% involves doing pointless man stuff: Watching UFC fights, farting/belching in public, making immature commentary at inappropriate times, scratching our balls (Completely pointless. They dont itch, its just some subconscious thing we do to make sure they are still there), etc. So most times men wont do something that will hinder their endless pursuit of (No, marriage doesnt end it, just limits your options). This is why Ive always told women to look in the mirror when they complain All men are dogs. If women as a collective actually stood against doggish behavior, instead of just playing Jasmine Sullivan songs and giving it lip service, men would stop doing it because it wouldnt work. Same thing with these men wearing these skinny jeans (and other inappropriate things like man purses and shit). If more women came out and said Why are you wearing jeans too small? You look ridiculous, men would stop wearing them. Its really that simple.

This whole metrosexual movement started because of women cosigning stuff like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and their love affair with how in touch gay men appear to be with their feminine side (No right?). Look, I have no problems with gay people. I just cant live that lifestyle for several reasons.

1. I dont like penis
2. I cant wear the uniform

Theres nothing wrong or gay about a man looking fresh or well groomed. However, theres a pretty clear cut line to be drawn and we all know what it is. Women allowing men to get away with wearing jeans and shirts that are too tight, walking around with Louis Vuitton man purses and scarves and other over the line things, has lead to an environment where men are now trying to out metrosexual each other in order to attract women. I believe theres a direct correlation between SJD and the increase in male bitchassness (MBN) that everyone seems to hate. Bottom line, if women want MBN to go away then they need to step up to the plate and stop cosigning the behavior. If you dont, youll come home one day to find your man putting on YOUR favorite pair of jeans.

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